"But I am being gripped out of the two, having the desire unto the to depart and to be with Christ, for [that is] much more better."
-paul has what he see as two really good options, and he says he is gripped by them (same word that is used in 2corinthians 5.14 - the love of Christ gripped him), he is actually being pulled in both directions. here he states again his desire to be with Christ, expressing again how Christ was for him (and by extension should be for us) not just the most important but also the most compelling and longed-for thing in life.
-to depart here is analuo, which means ‘to loose (or undo or leave) up or again’. it gives us our word, analyze, where you would indeed take something and loosen it up in order to better understand it. in luke 12.36 it is translated ‘return’ - and this probably better captures the sense of what paul is communicating here. it is not just that you are departing, it’s not about what you are leaving - it is about where you are going. you are returning. you are going home, home to where you belong, to the place where you were created and always meant to be, and are now recreated to be. paul had good reasons to stay on earth, but he so wanted to go home.
-this place is where Jesus is. and so here it’s not about the where as much as Who is there. to be with Christ - THAT is much more better. paul is not ultimately trying to escape a broken world or hard circumstances. he is not simply running from a bad situation and trolling for greener pastures. he wants more than anything to be in the presence of Jesus because Jesus is just better. He’s not just alright. He is better than anything or anyone. for paul, nothing compared to being with Christ, because nothing compared to Christ. and he would know, because as best we can tell he had actually been in the Presence on at least two occasions (acts 9.3-4, galatians 1.15-17, cf 2corinthians 12.7).
-what would you imagine it to be like to be physically with Jesus, with the glorified risen King of Kings, in the Presence? in what way(s) would that better? how exactly is He better? i don’t think it’s a feast for the tastebuds per se. but it IS what peter and john and james experienced on the mount of transfiguration (they didn’t want to leave - matthew 17.2-4). it’s what moses experienced on mount sinai (and remember - he was up there for 40 days with no food or water - i think he was so caught up in God’s presence that he lost all concept of time - exodus 34.5-8, 28-30). it is an unbelievable, indescribable sense of goodness and power, of love and majesty, of holiness and grace (cf isaiah 6.1-5).
-unfortunately, for those who have much in this life, an overabundance of comfort and ease and so many good things to enjoy - which is the case for many in the western church - our sense of the preeminent excellence of Christ has been severely blunted. we are NOT longing to depart and be with Christ, because the simple fact is that we are far too wrapped up in and attached to our life here on earth. we are too content with making mudpies in the slum. we have at best only a foggy notion that infinite delight is offered to us in Christ. altho i wonder however to what extent i can truly know the incomparable superiority of Christ until He is all that i have. paul had actually learned to be content and satisfied in whatever circumstance he found himself, because he understood the truth that it’s not about what you have, it’s WHO you have. paul was well-acquainted to being without food and shelter and to not having the niceties and amenities that the world has to offer. he was no stranger to inconvenience and discomfort and pain, and to being rejected and mistreated by the world for the sake of Christ. no doubt i can give lip service to the superiority of Christ but to really know it and feel in my heart of hearts is another thing altogether. i have a long long way to go.
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