1Timothy 3:12 - Look to the family, Elaine...!

”Deacons let them be a man of one woman, beautifully managing children and their own households.”

-Many of the same standards for would-be overseers apply to would-be deacons.  And that makes sense, doesn’t it?  Yes, overseer is an arguably higher calling in terms of scope and responsibility and indeed requires a difference gift mix (teaching and leading?).  But servant leadership in the service of the High King of heaven is a high calling indeed.  There are vital requisites of character which must be satisfied, which must be true of any and all who would ascend to lofty depth of official servant in the Kingdom, if for no other reason than that they stand to assume the office which was inaugurated and validated by our King and Savior Himself (Mark 9.35, Matthew 20.28, Luke 22.27).

-With that in mind, here Paul tells us, as with the overseers, look to the home.  It all begins in the home, and comes back to the home, to the family.  A person’s ability, their readiness to serve the family of God does indeed directly correlate to one’s proven ability to serve and lead and stand before the family the Lord has already given to them.  You want to know how someone will do in a role as deacon in the church?  Take a good close look at their family.  Their marriage.  Their kids.  Take a look at how their family functions.  Before you put them in charge of serving in the church, look at how they discharge their God-given duty in serving their flesh-and-blood family, in their home.

-It does stand to reason that it would be worthwhile for the church to take time to better equip their people to have healthy families, to have marriages and to raise children in a way which is truly beautiful.  You raise the level of the family, of the families in the assembly, you raise the level of the entire congregation.  The family is the fundamental building block of society.  Surely the breakdown of the family in our day weakens both the church and our nation(s).  Make no mistake - the family is God’s Plan A for the world.  Because we read that in the beginning, God made a family.  He made a man AND a woman, made them for each other in fact, paired them together perfectly and forever, blessing them and their union, and gave them marching orders.  Two imperatives: start a family (which will ultimately fill the earth with families), and take care of the earth (Genesis 1.28)(He later chose and blessed a family who He tasked to bless all the other families of the earth: Genesis 12.1-2).  Surely then it is no mere happenstance that the church is described as a family.  It is what we were always meant to be.  We all are to relate to one another as brothers and sisters, with God as our heavenly Father.  THE Family gathered and sent to bless all the families of the earth.  It starts in the family.  So for your would-be servant leaders, look to their family and see how they’re doing there.

-What about singles?  Certainly you wouldn’t be able to get as clear a read on their readiness to serve and lead a family, would you?  Can they serve and find that experience of spiritual family within their local assembly?  Of course - and they must!  But can they be deacons?  Can/should they be put in official positions of servant leadership in the church?  It is an argument from silence of sorts - Paul is not actually saying NO singles, he’s saying one wife.  Taken to it’s apparent conclusion, NO singles would prohibit Paul himself and even Jesus from serving as a deacon or elder.  No doubt what Paul has in mind is that this person must not be a polygamist or otherwise given over to excess as it relates to his sexual desires.  Remember that elsewhere Paul actually extols the virtue of remaining single for the express purpose of securing greater devotion and service to the Lord (1Corinthians 7.7-8, 32-35).  Ultimately we are talking about a heart which wants what the Lord wants, which wants to please Him, and which is growing in undistracted devotion to Him more than anyone or anything else.  And in their pursuit of learning to love the Lord with all their heart, they not only reign in their physical appetites but are better able and more motivated to love their flesh-and-blood family as well as the family of God.  These souls will naturally find their way into serving the One on Whom they have set their hope.  Surely bestowing on these ones a title of “deacon” will be as much as anything merely a recognition of services already rendered...?  Surely He is worthy of nothing less.