1Timothy 5:4 - The Return

“...but if a certain widow has children or grandchildren, let them be learning first their own household to be worshipping and to be giving back exchange to the parents.  For this is acceptable in the face of God.”

-Losing your spouse is certainly right up there among the most devastating of losses - especially if you were (or are) a woman in a strongly patriarchal society.  Not only do you lose this one who is (or should be?) your best friend, but you could very likely be losing your means of support.  This was totally the case in Paul’s day.  Yet often times, a woman who has lost her husband still has children or grandchildren who can - and should(!) - take her in and support her.  Value her, protect her, provide for her.  This is the standard familial obligation - make some return, a giving back to your parents.  Children need to learn and live into the Return.  And truly, why wouldn’t children want to make some recompense for the person(s) who brought them into the world?  Raised them with love, sweat and tears, did she not?  Long hours and low pay (none!), with no expectation for payback and nary a word of thanks, did she not?  But yes, sadly, in a broken world even mothers are broken and can (and do) pass that on in their childrearing in various forms and degrees.  Children can be the walking wounded, unwitting victims of a mom who was wounded by her own mom (or dad)(or uncle or boyfriend - or you fill in the blank).  

-But Paul says, no matter - in all our worldly way-making and would-be learning to follow and worship our Maker, our first point of worship - of giving God His worth-ship - is in the home.  The preeminent altar of our lives is our family.  Learn what a life of worship looks like in the home, Paul says.  It begins here.  In our own family, to our parents.  That’s where God began.  With all His heavenly world-making, He made a family.  The first parents.  And He blessed this family, giving them marching orders to be blessing to all the families of the earth.  Thus loving and living for the Lord begins and ends in the family.  Real worship, which pleases Him.  Not just a service with songs and a sermon once a week.  Not a program.  A lifestyle of honoring God as God and of learning to live into treasuring Him and what He treasures.  The gratitude, the respect, the love and care which we show to our parents, this "giving back exchange"?  This is the Return, and it is acceptable - well-pleasing - in the sight of God, Paul says.  It pleases Him when we value our parents, including and particularly our moms, if and when they become widows (i.e. vulnerable).  What would it look like for you and I to value our parents today?  Is there some brokenness, some woundedness which the Lord needs to heal?