Some say one is the loneliest number. They say two can be as bad as one. That’s not how God has designed it! What God has joined together, let no man separate [Mk 10.9]. At one time, that truth permeated our culture, handed down from our forefathers who brought forth on this continent a new nation, dedicated to the proposition that God rules in the affairs of men, and that His Word shows us how to live. Mostly dedicated, at least…
John Adams: “The Bible contains the most profound philosophy, the most perfect morality, and the most refined policy that ever was conceived upon earth.”
Family is forever - at least it’s supposed to be. We don’t get that from our culture anymore - but we see it in God’s Word. And we’ve been looking at how God has joined together this new family, Jew and Gentile, every nation - a forever family in Christ that bears His Name and channels His love and blessings towards one another and towards their neighbors and to all nations. Paul has been unpacking how this family, the body of brothers and sisters in Christ, is what God has been working towards throughout history, since before the beginning. This is the culmination of the great mission to bring men and women everywhere back into a forever relationship with Him. Into His family. Forever. The culmination of what He did in sending Christ to be the Savior of the world. To God be the glory in the church forever. In Christ. To Whom Paul has referred so far at least 40 times - it’s hard to keep track actually. But if you are a believer in Christ this morning, you are IN. You belong. To Christ - and to His family. Forever. Unfathomable.
Sadly, even the best laid plans seem to often go awry. And when we look at the history of God’s family - the church - we see too often that even God’s family seems to have trouble staying together. It has trouble doing the love-one-another thing. I mean, we can understand that earthly families can have trouble, can’t we? Anytime you bring together two imperfect inherently-selfish people, that can present some challenges, right? Staying together can be hard. Even the bringing together can be challenging. But we’re talking about God’s heavenly family - shouldn’t things be different? Truth be told, what we’re talking about in the church is actually not much different from any earthly family. Two or more - isn’t that what Jesus said? Two or more imperfect inherently-selfish people - usually many more than two. Indeed, God’s blessings are more than sufficient for love to abound - but in practice it often falls short. Cuz we fall short.
I’d like to suggest that in our passage today Paul gives us the secret sauce to a Forever Family. It is as needed in our world and in the church today as it ever was. Let’s take a look…
He begins with a Therefore… Why is the therefore there? Again, everything Paul has been unpacking to this point is about how God has blessed us and worked to bring us into this body of Christ. The believers there in the vicinity of Ephesus were a localized expression of this body, this forever family. An outpost of glory. And having established his premise, Paul is ready to build on it. And, as we’ve seen, he is the prisoner of the Lord, this one Lord - referring to Jesus Christ [3.1]. And Paul is His prisoner. Paul has said yes to Jesus, not just as Savior, but as Lord. Master. Whatever You want, Lord. Whatever You say, Lord. I’m all Your’s, Lord. I’m all in, Lord. What is Your bidding, my Master? And this devotion, this commitment has landed him literally in prison. He is in prison for following Jesus and for doing all he can to help others follow Jesus - specifically the Gentiles. All the nations. In prison for Jesus. In prison for us.
Paul says, you guys are a family, and I’m doing my part - I’m actually in prison for this family - so here’s what you need to do. There actually is no direct command here, not yet. Only an exhortation. An urging. An urgent plea, from the one laying down his life to bring us in.
Walk worthy, he says. Walk worthy of your calling… I am urging you. Don’t waste this…
Paul is thinking all about our calling, a high calling. That’s what he’s been writing about for the first three chapters. We were far, and God called us near, to come closer. God has called us out of wrath and darkness and into His household, His forever family, into an assembly of gathered peoples from every nation, Jews and Gentiles, and we/you all are being built into a holy temple, this dwelling of God in the Spirit, a place where He dwells and shows off His breathtaking goodness to and through His people. Blessed with every spiritual blessing. Our calling to salvation was not in isolation, it was not only about me and my fire insurance, about me myself and I getting our sins forgiven. Our calling was about a joining of peoples, the assembling together of the nations, about removing dividing walls and enmities and about creating a body, a family, a holy temple of united worshippers who will be known by the love they have for one another, peace with God and one another. The body of Christ, His bride, brought together through His blood. One group, one new man, one body, one Spirit. Our high calling is not simply out of the world and into heaven, it is into a new nation, a new family. Brothers & sisters. Compatriots. Ties which supersede geopolitical boundaries. Where peace reigns. Shalom. Love. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Tremendous sacrifices have been made in order to bring this about, by God Himself, God the Son, as well as by His servants like Paul who gave up everything, who left everything and followed Christ. Servants who have endured extreme hardship and persecution and prison for the sake of this Body of Christ, this assembly of called-out called-together ones which we call the Church. God’s forever family.
[It's like after they soldiers rescue Private Ryan, they tell him, "Don’t waste this - earn this, Private Ryan...!"]
[Or as in the letter to Mrs. Bixby from President Lincoln - “I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of Freedom.”]
So costly a sacrifice… Tremendous sacrifices have been made in order to bring this family together. And there are multitudes still to be rescued, gathered into this assembly. The stakes could be no higher. The cost has been incalculable. Unfathomable! Because of this it IS urgent that those who are now a part of this Body conduct themselves in a way that is in keeping with the call, upwards and inwards & outwards. Walk worthy. Don’t waste this. We are talking about both a holy household which does life together like a family and in doing so increases their knowledge and celebration of the breathtaking goodness of God, AND we are also talking about an ongoing rescue mission, full-on all-in commitment to loving and serving and getting the Good News about Jesus to a lost world and to the lost souls around us who are stumbling headlong towards a huge spiritual cliff, a horrible and irreversible fate awaiting them if we fail to intervene w the Good News. To bring them in. We’re Christ’s ambassadors. We’ve been brought in to bring them in (at least in part). At great price, so costly a sacrifice. And so here, Paul turns our focus on this idea of unity. Oneness. We’ve been brought in to be one. One body. A family - the way it was always meant to be. There is this unity, this oneness. The word “one” appears in various forms EIGHT times in these 6 verses.
And Paul here says that this unity, these family ties if you will - this oneness is being produced by the Spirit. Our job is not to manufacture it. We already saw that we are being built into a dwelling place of God IN or BY the Spirit [2.22]. God is doing the heavy lifting. This oneness is the outcome of the work of the Spirit in our midst. The Spirit of God produces oneness between believers pretty much anytime we spend time together. Have you ever noticed the description of the early church? Have you noticed how much time they spent together? [Acts 2:42, 46] It’s almost automatic. There is this spiritual gravitational force, drawing us and holding us together. But we have to assemble (Stop forsaking your assembling together - Hebrews 10.24). If we were talking about a physical structure, we would be talking about nails and screws and bolts and hammers and nails and such. But this is a living entity. A body. A spiritual body. That’s what Paul said in [1.23], the church is the body of Christ, the fullness of Him. And that which unites and binds together this living body - like any body - is ligaments. Paul says the bond, or ligament, of peace [BY the Spirit]. That’s the word in the Greek. Ligaments are the tough fibrous tissues which hold together the bones of our physical body. Apparently, the forces which our muscles and outside forces exert on our bones should tear them apart. But they don’t - because of our ligaments. When a ligament is damaged, the joint can become unstable. A torn ligament severely limits proper movement.
Our job is not to manufacture this oneness. It is to guard it. Watch over and protect it. To maintain this ligament bond of peace. The bond of peace. What is this peace? Peace and quiet? I think sometimes we have this image of peace where we are sitting down and relaxing in front of our favorite scene holding a large cup of our favorite beverage and in that place of P&Q the worries and the cares and the distractions and the hassles of other people are nowhere to be seen...
[calgon - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yjGPgs0_S0] [google images of peace]
[jellyfish lamp][lava lamp]
But is this peace? Is that what Paul is talking about? Is this the secret sauce which is going to hold our family together, not to mention bring in the nations, gather them in for white-hot enjoyment of the breathtaking goodness of almighty God? What is this peace that Paul is talking about? Is it the absence of noise? The absence of conflict? Ignoring it? No way. No, the peace, the shalom Paul is describing - the peace we want! - is forged in relationships. Through healthy positive interaction. That’s where the love is. Peace is made and - guarded - by those who can tap into the essential ingredients of a forever family which Paul describes here. Five ingredients to this secret sauce. Put these on your spiritual shopping list!
- First thing he says [2] is, With all Humility. Humility is a healthy, proper view of self. It is the attitude of Christ. It says, Others-better. Others-first. Others-more-important.
Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
Humility is the antithesis of me-better me-first - which happens to be our default wiring from the womb, looking out for number one. Mine! Me-first is deadly poison to a family. Me-first comes in to get my needs met. Serve me. Take care of my needs. Fulfill my wants. And maybe if my needs aren’t getting met, I’m outta here. Humility comes in ready to meet needs. Ready to do whatever. Cuz it’s not about me. Others-first. Looking out for their interests also. It is being able to take more than a passing interest in the things which concern them. It is being able to see past my own needs enough to be a part of helping to meet the needs of others. Not out of obligation, but from the heart. We’ve all encountered the public servant who was merely doing their duty. Only going thru the motions of serving. No, when Christ got up from the table and grabbed the towel and the water and washed the filthy stinking feet of His disciples, He wasn’t performing some obligatory service. He was doing it from the heart. Others better others first. It takes two, but it only takes two. If two people are living into the reality of others better others first, the prospects are really good for a successful family. Humility shows up and says, this is not about me - how can I help? Humility is what gets me out of my seat and out of my bubble (my bubble bath) enough to go and ask someone else how they’re doing. And then holding in there long enough to listen to the answer (which also requires patience and forbearance - we’ll get to those in a bit). Humility is also what says, I need you. Every part of a body needs the other parts. There are no spiritual lone rangers in this family. But it is made possible in the hearts of those have been blessed by God. God has showered His breathtaking goodness on them, His amazing grace, and so their cup is full. Filled up to all His fullness. They know that God’s got this, and they show up brimming and ready to overflow God’s goodness to the family.
- Gentleness. Strength under control. Which requires more strength - to hold on to a hurt, or to forgive it, let it go? Which takes more strength, to restrain my tongue or to let it fly. Controlling my tongue (& temper). And we’re not just talking about holding it back from the one who has offended us or who rubs us wrong. We hold our tongue when they’re not around. The gentleness of Christ holds back, does not even break a bruised reed. There is compassion, kindness, grace, forgiveness. Some suggest that Christians are the only ones who beat up their wounded - how sad if that is true?
- Long-suffering. Long-suffering. We say patience, but the Greek word is long-suffering. In other words, how long is my fuse? Those we are closest to are most likely to blow our fuse. They push our buttons. Sometimes it’s on purpose (big brothers!). Often it is unintended. But the question is, how long will we wait. How long will we keep waiting? Willingness to wait - that’s patience. It goes hand in hand with this next quality...
- Forebearance. Bearing with one another. The NASB says tolerance, but this is not the modern day tolerance which says, let me do whatever I want even if you don’t like it and even when God says don’t do it - and don’t dare criticize me when I do. Forebearance is not, I’ll accept you as long as you don’t criticize me but if you do I’m unfriending you and here comes my backlash. Today we’re too ready to leave, reluctant to commit. Not saying we don’t need to be careful, but we really need to be more ready to commit and reluctant to leave. This is also not to say that we simply let our brother go off in disobedience. Love goes after family, fights for them, in so far as is possible with us. Speaks the truth in love when necessary. The Greek word here literally means to hold against. To hold against. To hang in there. Something is bothering us. Something comes at us, in our face. Maybe it irritates us a bit. But we’re talking about family. How are we going to react? Do we hang in there? With humility? Gentleness? Patience? Love? Most of the things which ruffle our feathers are trifles, aren’t they? You left the seat up. You left the door open. You left the lid off. You left your clothes out. You didn’t do what you said you’d do. You didn’t do what I asked you to. Some aspect of your personality rubs me wrong. Relatively tiny offenses when compared to what is at stake in the mission. Many times we can simply agree to disagree yet still love one another for the sake of the mission (which I believe is the spirit of our Alliance). Sometimes yes the offense is more egregious. The wounds are bigger. You hurt me. You weren’t there for me. How many times do we forgive our brother? We hang in there. I’m not saying it’s easy. Neither is Paul. Humanly impossible. He’ll tell us in chapter 5 that the love and the kindness and faithfulness and self-control necessary to guard our family oneness is produced in our lives by the Spirit. The same one Who forges our oneness furnishes what we need in order to guard it.
- Lastly, diligence. Being diligent. Making every effort. All in for this. What are you and I prepared to do? And then what are we prepared to do? You and I must be prepared to go all the way. I urge you, Paul says. Walk worthily. Make every effort. Don’t waste this.
[Lords of the Earth - account of missionaries who gave their lives for the sake of others]
Life is not only the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. It can include slings and arrows from those closest to us. Those who are supposed to be family. Supposed to love us. But we have a love which bears all things. Endures all things. Believes all things. This is God’s love for us. Which He showed out on the Cross. Which we show to one another. Not to mention to our enemies. To Him be the glory in the church. Forever. Family. Forever. Let’s pray...
Ephesians 4:1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.
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