God gave man a unique sacred crown. A unique sacred calling. A unique sacred command. And God gave man a unique sacred companion. [Gen 2:18-24] God devotes an entire section in the account of Creation to the special creation of woman. God first makes Adam. The crown of His creation. Puts him in the Garden of God, to take care of the works of God’s hands. Gives him that first sacred command. The crown. The calling. Picture Paradise... It was truly exceedingly good. And then there in Paradise we see the one thing in all Creation which - up to that point - was NOT good. Gen 2:18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” [Hebrew: the word for "alone" is bad- or separate. So in a sense the Hebrew says it is bad (not good) to be bad (alone)]. Isolation can turn any paradise into a desert, a palace into a dungeon.
[From wikipedia: The lack of human contact, and the sensory deprivation that often go with solitary confinement, can have a severe negative impact on a prisoner's mental state[31] that may lead to certain mental illnesses such as depression, permanent or semi-permanent changes to brain physiology,[32] an existential crisis,[33][34][35][36] self-harm and death.[37] Prison inmates assigned to solitary confinement were 3.2 times as likely to commit an act of self-harm. The United Nations considers solitary confinement exceeding 15 days to be torture]
So, for the record: It is not good to be alone (long-term). Made in God’s image, we’re all wired for interpersonal relationship. And we all need help. First and foremost, of course we understand that God is our Comfort and our Helper (Ps 46.1). But our need for help, for companionship, exists on a human level as well. Adam had a healthy open relationship with the Lord, and still it was NOT good for him to be “alone”. Not good, bad.
Who do you think needed to know this? Adam. And so the oh-so-good God drives this need home for the man: 19-20 Out of the ground the LORD God [had] formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. All these potential companions - but not one of them truly addressed his separateness, his isolation. The Lord here is showing Adam - and us - our need for human companionship. The phrase in the Hebrew means “exact correspondence”. It speaks to our God-given need for human relationship. Some think it's better “flying solo” - but that’s a lie: the LIE says, I don’t need anyone. And don’t miss this - God knew what He was doing. He designed us with this need. And animals don’t cut it. No other creature is going to ask us, “how are you doing really?” We humans are wired for human companionship. We need each other. [Ecclesiastes 4:9 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.]
Of course at this point in Creation God is specifically talking about a perfectly suited life partner for the man. That word “suitable” literally refers to something opposite. This sacred companion has an ideal, God-designed complementary function. And so for the man God creates woman. 21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. Not out of a different pile of dust (like He did for EVERY OTHER CREATURE, incl the man), but out of Adam’s rib - she’s as similar to him as she could be, can relate to him, communicate with him like no other creature. BUT she is also opposite. She is a wonderful impossible. She is fashioned by God - it’s different word in the Hebrew. Every other creature God formed [like a piece of pottery]. But God fashions the woman: this is the word “build”. [pottery vs building a house - it's much more involved and precise, you need blueprints, etc]. Every detail about woman - how she thinks & acts, how she feels, her anatomy - she is the perfect God-designed complement to the man. And Adam’s reaction leaves no doubt that finally, after looking at ALL these other creatures, that she is exactly what he needed. God knew/knows exactly what we need(ed). 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” What Adam sounds like in the Hebrew is, [“WOW!!!”] Woman is man’s unique sacred companion. Exactly how God designed it. Not just very good - very best. The jewel in the crown. Precisely how God planned it, drew it up and built it.
At which point God instituted a sacred union. 24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his woman; and they shall become one flesh. She doesn’t belong to him - they belong to each other, and God Himself brokered the deal. This is a holy lifelong partnership. They will work together, carry the crown together, fulfill God’s calling of subduing and ruling the earth and all its creatures together, they will carry out God’s sacred commands together (including now the whole business of multiplying). They’re the perfect complement to one another. TThey fit perfectly - even as there is an oppositeness to this partnership. Like two magnets.
This sacred - even mystical relationship also happens to be a deliberate picture of Jesus & the Church, aka the Bride of Christ. [Ephesians 5:28-32 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.]
And then let’s not miss God’s final act in this union: God brings the woman to the man [2:22]. That’s the final (too often missing) piece of the puzzle. Sometimes we run ahead of God and His provision. Sometimes we don't think we want His provision. We pursue what we want, what we think we need, and when we think we need it. When we leave God out of the bringing, when we just leave Him out altogether, when we reject His exceedingly good design, all kinds of things get messed up. Confused. Broken.
Note that God does not create a second man. Not only would that NOT be complementary, there would also be no children. Before God tells the first couple to subdue the earth, He tells them to fill it. To be fruitful and multiply. To have babies. And God engineered it such that to carry out this first great commission you need a man and a woman. God’s design is one man and one woman. One of each. Male and female He created them. The male has the seed, the female has the egg, she has the womb. That’s God’s glorious design, and frankly, THAT is science. It’s anatomy. It's hardwired into our DNA. Male and female God created them. From the very beginning, God knew exactly what He was doing - and He still does. And what we do, what man does, is try to figure out ways to circumvent God’s design.
Fast forward thousands of years, after sin and death entered in, man rejecting God and abusing His gifts, generation after generation of brokenness, rearing its ugly head. The LIE comes in and says - what does the LIE say? There are so many… The LIE says, God did not design any of this. We reject His design. This is how people have rolled from the very beginning. We’ve left God out of so much, and look at what we’ve got. There are always consequences for rejecting God’s design. It’s how things got broken in the first place. The LIE says, it’s all about how I feel (and to be sure, feelings in this area are stronger than any other --> some very good feelings, but there's so much confusion). And we insist, God’s design doesn’t matter. What God says doesn’t matter. Personally, if I had to choose between what God says, and what I feel or you feel or anybody else feels, I choose the God of the universe. The LIE says, God made a mistake. Really? What source am I using for this information? My feelings? God does not make mistakes. Me? I make plenty. So much brokenness - and confusion. Broken families, broken marriages, broken people (breaking one another). Confusion - about gender, about sex, about marriage. Confusion about life, about who I am and why I’m here. And such strong feelings. We’re NOT saying that God doesn’t care about my feelings. Of course He cares. But my feelings never determine what is right. There is a way which seems/feels right to a man, but its end is the way of death - Prov 14.12. Death of course = Separation from God.
And THAT is where we wind up today. Because before God says anything about even filling the earth (much less subduing it), He makes us in His image. Image bearers. Eternal souls, designed and made by Him to relate to Him, to know Him, to enjoy Him, to glorify Him by enjoying Him forever. This is who we are at the very core of our being. We are spiritual beings, designed for eternity. And the LIE says, we are primarily physical. It’s all about the physical, about our sexuality, that’s what defines us. And that’s a lie. It’s a tragically broken view. The most important thing about you and me is that God made us in His image, to enjoy Him and His goodness forever. Yes God blessed the sexual act with physical enjoyment, but He designed that to be experienced in a lifelong union between a man and a woman, one with [God at the center]. He does the bringing. And He brings the joy - a temporary one in this life, and unending joy in the life to come for those who trust in Him.
So much brokenness. So much confusion. And questions. We're all broken in different ways. And being broken means that we all struggle with living into God’s design. That’s normal. And questions are normal. Questions about how and why God made me. Questions about gender, about sexuality. That’s normal - that is to say, questions are normal. It’s okay to have questions. But our questions, our brokenness, our struggles, our missteps, our feelings are opportunities to trust the Lord. Will we trust the One Who has the answers? [Prov 3:5-6]
The lie says, I can’t change. The lie says, it’s too late. But it’s never too late with the Lord. His mercies are new every morning. With man this may feel impossible, but with God all things are possible. And now He’s given us His Son, Who makes all things new. AND He’s given us His family - married or single, we don’t need to journey through the questions and the struggles and the brokenness alone. We are never alone. God calls many of us into the sacred union of marriage, but He invites all of us to journey together with Him, in common unity, sharing His love with one another as we enjoy His goodness AND face the brokenness together. It all begins w trust. Am I willing to trust Him? How 'bout you, my friend...?
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