-Given that all believers are to be ranking themselves under each other, Paul now provides some specific application to the marriage relationship. The men will get theirs as well, but addressing the women first, Paul specifically highlights the need for wives to be subjecting themselves to their husbands, just as they would to Christ. We will see that he does not repeat the same imperative for the men, so we must ask, why does Paul see the need to direct this at the women?
-We find the answer in the fall, in the pervasive brokenness which was introduced into the husband-wife relationship as consequences for doing the one and the only thing which God told the first couple not to do. After eating that forbidden fruit, the first woman was informed by God specifically that her desire would be for her husband (Genesis 3.16). Most commentators agree that this meant her default desire now would be to dominate the relationship with her husband. No longer naturally disposed to help and be the perfectly-suited partner, she would want to take the lead, take control. Be the boss. And yes, the seeds of the man’s silence and passivity and abdication would make this seem at times almost necessary, but no, this is not how God designed marriage to work (Genesis 2.18, 1Peter 3.1-6). It is not about value or ability (neither hers nor his), nor inferiority - as we will see it is about reflecting the relationship between Christ and His bride, the Church.
-But the template for the way wives are to rank themselves under their husbands is to be the same manner in which they rank themselves under the Lord Jesus Christ. At no point would a God-fearing woman ever have the audacity to boss around the risen King of kings. That same respect she has for the almighty Creator of the universe must penetrate and permeate the entirety of how a wife relates to her husband. It is not based on the qualities or behavior of said husband - no, it is based entirely on the nature of her relationship with Christ.
-There are boundaries here - their OWN husband, for one. No universal gender thing in play here. Paul is not here suggesting that all wives or women need to be subjecting themselves to all men. He is thinking about how this plays out within an individual marriage relationship. Additionally, he is not talking about unconditional submission. As we read in Peter, while the wife’s submission and respect does/should not depend on the behavior/obedience of her husband, neither is Paul saying that a woman’s submission encompasses any way in which she might be asked by her husband to do something which the Lord would NOT want. Her ranking of herself under her husband AS to the Lord falls under the pervue of her higher submission TO the Lord.
-One may ask, how does this play out in situations of extreme brokenness where the man is abusing the woman physically or emotionally? Truly, such despicable depravity will no doubt be thoroughly punished in eternity, and deserves dire consequences in this life as well. When the man’s behavior puts the safety of the wife (or children) at risk, the woman must find a way (and a place) to protect herself (and any children), even as she looks for a way to help her husband. Most likely she will need to enlist the help of others. But she must find a way to continue to respect him, as to the Lord. Obviously, no easy feat, this - darn well impossible humanly speaking. But there is no ultimate escape clause. As far as is possible with her, and until such a time as the Lord might possibly release her from her obligation to her husband, the wife who would follow Christ must constantly trust Him and depend on His Spirit for the strength and wisdom to relate to her husband in this manner, as his God-ordained perfect helping partner.
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