-The bar for the men in marriage is even higher than it is for the women, as husbands are called to reflect the heart and love and example of Christ Himself. Christ took on the form and role and attitude of a slave. He came not to be served but rather to serve, and to lay down His life for His bride. In this is no greater love, than to lay down your life for another. This is exactly what Christ did, and what every husband is called to do for his bride.
-Sadly, the men also find themselves under a curse, their fallen nature not only channeling the silence and passivity of the first husband but also instinctively wanting to abuse the authority and responsibility entrusted to them by the Lord. They confuse partnership with dictatorship. They want to be served. They come home from work and plop down in front of the tv, assuming their work is done, expecting the wife to wait on them like a servant, meals and the chores and the kids all taken care of, with nary a thought for how they might serve their wife. Is this not how it too often is when a man is put in charge? Lazy and/or overbearing (or even worse). All too easy to have someone else do the dirty work.
-But so how exactly did Christ love the church? Unto death. He laid it all down, laid down His very life, and gave up everything for His bride. Willingly. Gladly! But He took the nails. He took the punishment His bride deserved. He did the heavy lifting. He went way out of His way to serve and protect and rescue His wife. He made it all about her, even though it was actually all about Him. The long range goal of course was always the increase of God's glory, but the means to that end was to serve His bride. From a certain standpoint it would be almost understandable if perhaps the bride were to somehow wind up thinking that it is all about her. But no, it was always all about Christ. The heavenly Groom made it all about His bride so that she could make it all about Him. Whereas each earthly groom makes it all about his wife so as to simply present a profound picture of this heavenly Example. I make it all about her, knowing that it is not ever all about me. My earthly bride is not to make it all about me, because in fact it is always all about Christ. But His is the Perfect Example for how husbands are to love their wives.
-So, husband. How am I doing? How am I doing at giving myself up for my bride, at loving and cherishing her? Am I serving her, protecting her, going out of my way even to do so? Am I at the ready to take a nail (or a bullet) for her? Or has even the thought of doing so become a chore? Has serving her become a drag, a daily grind, a distant afterthought at best? Am I weary and tired of laying it all down for her? When was the last time I gladly laid anything down for her? Clearly the template Christ provided is one of faithful, willing service and sacrifice - for this I need His heart and mindset and fresh power thru the filling of His Spirit every day. And He did go all the way. His was the ultimate sacrifice. I am to sacrifice my rights and wants for the sake of my bride. Today, and tomorrow, and the following day, and the day after that, and the next. Every day I wake up and must say no to self and lay my life down for my bride. Herein is joy, as I am thus no more like Christ, the One Who joyfully endured the Cross, than when I am laying my all down for her. And let's be honest, what woman would not be able to trust and follow and rank herself under and give herself with abandon to a husband like that? The caveat here is that we're not talking about wanton acts of service in answer to every beck and call. There is a higher goal within this service which should and must inform how and why I give myself up for my bride. Next verse...
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